35. An algorithm and a heartbeat

Hi friends,

Welcome to the thirty-fifth dispatch of How Humans Flourish, a research-informed newsletter on how humans thrive.

Before we dig into our September book of the month, two quick things:

1. break*through has a new website. Check us out here. 

2. On September 16th, in collaboration with JP Morgan and Blue Cross Blue Shield, break*through is kicking off our first How Humans Flourish event—a 30-day mind / body / tech experience. Join us as we break barriers, defy limits, and make human flourishing an unstoppable reality. RSVP here.

Last month, we delved into the fascinating future of wellness and AI, so I thought we’d take it a step further by tackling one of tech’s most controversial topics: big data.

This month, we're diving into the New York Times Bestseller Dataclysm: Love, Sex, Race, and Identity—What Our Online Lives Tell Us about Our Offline Selves by data scientist and technology founder Christian Rudder.

Rudder laments (and I agree) that so much of the public narrative around big data focuses on surveillance and predatory commercialization (why am I seeing an ad for M&M’s after mentioning them in the same room as my phone?). While conversations around privacy and security are critical, we shouldn’t miss another important aspect of the conversation—what data tells us about ourselves and our ability to thrive.

As a co-founder of OKCupid, one of the largest dating platforms in the U.S., Rudder has access to vast troves of data, where individuals from diverse backgrounds—spanning race, age, economics, religion, and politics—share deeply personal details in the pursuit of love.

To explain why I chose this book, let me take you back eight years. 

I had recently begun a new role at a relatively young company, where I was the fourth hire. As I was being introduced to my new colleagues, I noticed something quite... bizarre.

The two black women shaking my hand were… just… like… me.

We spoke similarly, had similar dispositions, and even shared similar literary references—from Toni Morrison to Anton Chekhov to Albert Camus. 

As I got to know them better, I realized we were indeed “a type”: attractive, fiercely competitive, well-educated, socially conscious, fashion-forward, with a shared affinity for luxury and crass hip-hop.

In fact, we were so alike that I distinctly recall a colleague debating whether to get an exotic green-eyed Savannah Cat as a pet, and my immediate reaction was—so chic... why didn’t I think of that first? Meaning, even our expressions (or desired expressions) of individuality were similar.

Over the years, I had grown accustomed to spotting uncanny doppelgängers of friends or acquaintances in entirely different countries or settings... but to see myself?

Huh.

It was my first realization that, in a world of 8 billion people, our social networks—brimming with intriguing trends and patterns—are the stuff of science fiction brought to life.

Rudder writes, “A dating site brings people together, and to do that credibly it has to get at their desires, habits, and revulsions. So you collect a lot of detailed data and work very hard to translate it all into general theories of human behavior… You grow to understand people much as a chemist might understand, and through understanding come to love, the swirling molecules of his tincture.”

He continues, “The approximations technology has devised for things like lust and friendship offer a truly novel opportunity: to put hard numbers to some timeless mysteries; to take experiences that we’ve been content to put aside as ‘unquantifiable’ and instead gain some understanding. As the approximations have gotten better and better, and as people have allowed them further into their lives, that understanding has improved with startling speed.” 

Nearly 94 percent of the United States is online, and that number holds across virtually all demographic boundaries. Urban to rural, rich to poor, black to Asian to white to Latino, all are connected.

The similarities of our shared existence can be gleaned through terabytes of data, but more than that– we can also see our hidden biases, how we really behave when we think no one’s watching, and how these impact the ways in which we thrive (or don’t).

Until next week.

With gratitude,

P.S. Unfortunately, the Kindle version of my book doesn’t include page numbers, so I’m unable to reference specific pages.

P.P.S. I’ve since discovered other versions of “me”—my favorite being Sharmadean Reid, based in London. While some might find the idea of being “a type” disconcerting, I see it as great fun. I think of them as my fiery sister-clones, scattered across the globe.